Part One:
What does an F1 driver do in the off-season?

Well, for the first time in history, this series will uncover the answer by delving into the deep dark world which is the F1 off-season.

This week we bring you, Lewis Hamilton, Robert Kubica, Felipe Massa, Kimi Raikkonen, and Sebastian Vettel.

Lewis Hamilton takes time to film the new Bond film.

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In this secret shot obtained illegally from the next James Bond film, "Swords in Singapore at Dawn," shows that the new Bond, set to replace Daniel Craig, will be none other than Lewis Hamilton himself.

The current world champion stated that "winning by just one point is what James Bond would have done, he loves to live dangerously, as do I, this is why they chose me."

James Bond, "Swords in Singapore at Dawn" will be in cinemas May 2009.

Robert Kubica shows off his bricklaying skills.

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Robert Kubica was caught in this shot building a new house situated in lovely Milton Keynes. The BMW driver loves to show off his circular brickwork, and believes consistency with his Cement mix is they key to getting the roundest shape.

Robert was overheard saying that the economic crisis has really dented the housing market, and he's worried he won't have enough work too keep him busy until March.

Felipe Massa has always been good with numbers.

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Felipe knew after China that his chances of winning the WDC in 2008 were just 37.459 percent in favour. Most people don't know that Massa owns an accountancy firm back in Brazil called Massa-sive Numbers & Co.

The Brazilian loves to play with his Calculator in his spare time, and is in fact the person who discovered you can type 'Boobless' into a calculator by using the numbers 55378008, then turning the calculator upside-down.

Raikkonen is well known for his love of Vodka, but not his Barman skills.

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Something you didn't know about Kimi Raikkonen is the fact he is a Barman at a Gentleman's club back in Finland when the F1 season winds down. He's a dabb-hand at cocktails, and his bar's motto is: "You can have anything, as long as it's Vodka."

Massa was in charge of Raikkonen's accounts last year, and discovered that Bar-Kimi made an operating loss of $122,000 in 2007. This debt was written off because it was though Kimi spent the entire 2008 season celebrating his 2007 WDC.

Vettel Goes Back to School

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Sebastian Vettel has returned to school to finish his ninth-grade exams. The 12-year-old Red Bull driver is currently studying Maths, English, Italian, Science, and Geography. Seb, as his school mates call him, has to juggle driving lessons (yep, he doesn't even have a license yet) with schoolwork, he's a busy boy.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/82006-what-does-an-f1-driver-do-in-the-off-season

Part Two:
Well, for the first time in history, this series will uncover the answer by delving into the deep dark world which is the F1 off-season.

Last week in Part One, we brought you Lewis Hamilton, Robert Kubica, Felipe Massa, Kimi Raikkonen, and Sebastian Vettel. This week we bring you Heikki Kovalainen, Kazuki Nakajima, Fernando Alonso, Mark Webber, and Nelson Piquet.

Heikki Kovalainen keeps the kids safe

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Heikki, whom himself has seven children, loves to volunteer at the local school as a Lollipop lady, sorry man whilst he isn't busy racing his F1 car backwards down the grid.

The Finnish driver came seventh in comparison to his teammates first in the F1 WDC 2008. Heikki has been taking the time to weigh up being in Hamilton's shadow all the time and continuing in F1, or leaving and becoming a full-time paid Lollipop lady, sorry man. We are expected to find out in February.

Kazuki Nakajima feels the credit crunch at Kazuki Motors

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Don't confuse it with Suzuki Motors, this is Kazuki Motors, the best car dealership in Japan.*

With the credit crunch taking a hold on the motoring industry, Kazuki has cut his prices by up to 85 percent on all luxury tin cans. One even features electric windows; the list price says $2,000 but I know you could barter that down to at least $1,950.

* for legal reasons, this statement is not true, and Toyota rules!

Nando loves to cart people from A to B

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CryBaby Cabs is Alonso's latest business venture; he loves to cart the Spaniards around town and catch up on the latest gossip. Rumour has it that he never lets people in his cab whose names begin with "R," nobody is quite sure why, or even if it's true.

Mark Webber takes the time to cycle the world

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Mark Webber is embarking on a 20 week, round-the-world cycling trip which will take him from now until the first race in March. Webber has always been a keen cyclist, often holding charity events, which involve cycling 50km as well as running and swimming.

In real news: Mark Webber was airlifted to hospital after having a head on crash with a car, whilst competing in his charity bike race. This is serious news, and is not part of this article. Mark is said to have suffered a broken leg, and will miss winter testing. A Red Bull spokesman has said he will compete in the opening race.

Nelson's Butchers reveal the owner to be none other than Piquet

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The well-known British butcher chain, Nelson's has always had a dark secret. Nobody has ever known who owns the chain of butchers, but in a breaking article which has already given you nine other secret F1 identities, we can reveal the chain is owned by none other than Nelson Piquet, who inherited the meat machine from his father.

In a statement to the Brasil Times, Piquet said; "Eu Cortarei Flav's esferas de s fora se I don't comec um assento em 2009," which roughly translates into English as, "I will cut Flav's balls off if I don't get a seat in 2009."
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/84684-what-does-an-f1-driver-do-in-the-offseason-part-two

Part Three:
What does an F1 driver do in the offseason?

Well, for the first time in history, this series will uncover the answer by delving into the deep dark world which is the F1 offseason.

In Part One, we brought you Lewis Hamilton, Robert Kubica, Felipe Massa, Kimi Raikkonen, and Sebastian Vettel.

Last week, in Part Two, we brought you Heikki Kovalainen, Kazuki Nakajima, Fernando Alonso, Mark Webber, and Nelson Piquet.

This week, we bring you, Jarno Trulli, Rubens Barrichello, Timo Glock, Nick Heidfeld, and Adrian Sutil.

Join the Trulli train my friends, choo choo!

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Jarno Trulli isn't known for his love of trains, but he is known for his skill, which is of course the Trulli train which you can usually find snaking its way around an F1 track.

The train enthusiast enjoys steaming around the Italian countryside on his 1978 steam loca-motive named Trulli express, and his many carriages, including Webber, Piquet, Rosberg, Bourdais, Button, and Sutil, they can often be seen following the main engine.

Rubens gets used to the easy life

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Rubens Barrichello has decided to settle down now that he is almost guaranteed not to have a seat in 2009. The 36 year old, who has hit retirement age for an F1 driver is getting used to the easy life with a spot of golf.

The Brazilian was overheard saying "this accelerates much quicker than my Honda company car, do you think we could steal the engine for 2009?"

Glock opens doors, to let people through

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Timo Glock, not very well known for anything until Sunday, 2 November, has returned to his usual job of opening doors for the general public.

The Toyota driver, who slowed on the final lap of the Brazilian Grand Prix and let Lewis Hamilton through is so used to opening doors and making space for people to pass through, that he often confuses which job he is meant to be doing.

You can sometimes find him running around the foyer of the Hilton in London, making F1 noises as he takes the racing line around the corridors - we've all done it!

P.S. A quick note to thank the man that made Lewis Hamilton's dream a reality.

Nick learns some new tricks for 09'

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Where does Heidfeld learn his next tricks? You might not have guessed, but he enjoys watching Roadrunner on the Cartoon Network. This not only serves as a time passing, boredom buster, but in fact he learns his next move in F1 from the hit '50s show.

Heidfeld has all 48 episodes on VHS, and has learnt the art of acceleration, braking, cornering and the part where they run off a cliff, stay suspended for 10 seconds then fall to the ground in an almighty crash, the latter has yet to be seen in an F1 race, but Heidfeld has hinted it may be used in the upcoming season.

Trivia: Ever wondered why BMW never broadcast Heidfeld's radio, because he constantly communicates using Roadrunner language: Meep Meep.

Sutil releases an album

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Adrian Sutil, a member of the American Folk song band, Hillybilly boys, although the title is set to change to Hillybilly grandads next year, has released a new album, aptly named, 'the one that got away'.

The song was written about his 2008 Monaco Grand Prix, in which sutil lied fourth in the running for five points, until the unfortunate event, when Raikkonen, who was still suffering from the 50 percent sale at his bar 'Bar-Kimi' (featured in Part One) ploughed into the back of his Force India.

Next Week:
In the final edition of the series, we bring you the remaining five drivers and their secret F1 jobs in the offseason.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/87324-what-does-an-f1-driver-do-in-the-offseason-part-three

Oh GOD, SUTIL just makes me laugh!! He wouldn't be able sing, would he?? too...